Keep Calm

I just want cute bras, nice tattoos and a chance to see the world.

(via radiicvl)

(Source: -brokenbones-)


Anonymous said: you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ? 

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

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*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

queerhawkeye:

there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE. 

surprisebitch:

we lived in the Murder House

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we escaped the Asylum

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we protected the Coven

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and now, we will attend the Freak Show

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(Source: surprisebitch)

relateforteens:

Want more relatable?

bakrua:

bewbin:

Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting

you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left

I get way too sensitive when I get attached to someone. I can detect the slightest change in the tone of their voice, and suddenly I’m spending all day trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Humans of New York - Amman, Jordan (via lavishyouth)

(Source: 5000letters)


they-said-it-gets-easier:

kirksthyla:

thefandomlyfe:

m-a-l-t-a-r-a:

takemewherethewildthingsare:

paint-me-a-butt:

mishassbuttofthelord:

mcdolans:

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person


will get “doot doot” in their ask box

HOW

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

imagethere are over 128,000 notes and i still got one

how

image

i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago

how the actual fuck

I’ve got to see for myself